


I need you (I love you)

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Probably ooc, Using sex to cope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 09:58:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19332247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: When Jake dies, Ellie turns to Nick.





	I need you (I love you)

**Author's Note:**

> For the anon on Tumblr.

They got the news from Vance only hours after it happened.   
  
Jake Malloy was dead.   
  
He had been visiting a client walking back to his car when he heard shouts for help, one of the nearby apartment buildings were on fire. Jake had shoved past the crowd of terrified people and the others living in the building that were running out. There were children still on the third floor screaming, coming from the windows.   
  
Jake saved the three children, but didn't make it out himself.   
  
"What about Bishop?" Gibbs had asked, staring at her empty desk. She had finished her paperwork early and left to run an errand.   
  
"She already knows." Vance had said. "I've been told that an old friend from the NSA called her with the bad news."  
  
Nick had ran out before anyone could say anything else. McGee and Gibbs quickly following behind him.   
  
It had started raining hard and heavy three hours ago, and so when he finally found her she was soaked. Ellie's phone lay cracked on the ground near where she was sitting on the grass, covered in mud the rain created.   
  
"Ellie!" Nick didn't care as he dropped on his knees beside her, his pants now muddy. Her stare was blank.  
  
Her only reaction had been when Gibbs had mentioned bringing her to his place. Ellie had whimpered, her hands flying up to grip Nick's jacket.  
  
It didn't take a genius to realize what she wanted.   
  
Nick took her back to his place, her clinging to him the whole time.   
  
A part of him even though it was ridiculous hated Jake for dying, for his death causing her to be like this.   
  
He had done his best to help her out of her clothes without looking at her body that was slowly being exposed right before him. Ellie let him, following directions if he told her to lift her arms or legs.   
  
"Wash yourself off Ellie." He said softly, avoiding looking as he helped her into the shower. "I'll be right back."   
  
She only hummed in acknowledgment but he figured it was safe, so he grabbed her clothes to wash and went to grab some of his own for her to wear in the meantime.  
  
Minutes later when he came back into the bathroom, she sat on the edge of his tub wrapped in the black towel that had been on the rack. There were still spots of mud on her face and neck that had dried and clung to her skin.   
  
Nick grabbed and wet a washcloth, crouching down in front of her as he started cleaning it off. He gently ran the cloth on her face before lowering it to wipe at her neck. Ellie stared at him the whole time, her stare no longer blank which put him at ease.  
  
"I bought some clothes for you." Nick said, voice still soft while he moved the washcloth along her skin one last time.   
  
Ellie grabbed his wrist when he went to pull away. He watched and waited. She pulled the washcloth from his hand, dropping it to the floor with a plop. Ellie directed his hand back to her. Nick swallowed feeling slightly nervous. He wasn't good at the whole comfort thing but it seemed he himself, even if it was just his touch, was a comfort.   
  
Nick felt his mind spinning, confused as she stood letting the towel completely fall. He let in a sharp breath, this time not being able to stop himself from seeing. Ellie was beautiful, a work of art right before his eyes.   
  
Pulling him from the bathroom she grabbed the shirt from the pile of clothes he brought.   
  
When they got into his bedroom she slipped the shirt on, but not without Nick catching the deep inhale as if she was smelling his shirt. She looked more aware when she crawled into his bed, Nick already changed out of his own muddy clothes slid in beside her.   
  
"He's gone." Ellie mumbled.   
  
Nick's heart ached for her. She had experienced enough loss.   
  
"I'm sorry." Nick whispered, pulling her to him slowly in case she rejected his touch now that she wasn't acting like a zombie.   
  
"Nick?"   
  
Her voice was small, a bit of nerves tinged in it.   
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Ellie grabbed his hand just like in the bathroom, he held his breath when just like before she brought his hand to her except this time, she directed his hand under the edge of his shirt she wore, he almost groaned out loud barely stopping himself.   
  
"Ellie-"   
  
"Please." She whispered. "I need you, Nick..I just want to forget, even if for a little while."   
  
He knew it wasn't the right thing to do, she was hurting and probably wasn't thinking clearly- but he wanted to _so bad_. Nick ignored his brain telling him he should tell her no. This was _Ellie_ , the woman he had fallen for _months_ ago.   
  
A whimper fell from her lips when he touched her, just like she wanted.   
  
"Tell me when to stop." He whispered. Watching as her eyes fluttered when he slid his finger inside her.   
  
"No stopping." She breathed out, lips touching his.  
  
Nick spent the whole night touching her, inside her, memorizing every little detail from the noises she made to the little spots that had more reactions than others. Ellie clung to him, directing him when she wanted slow and soft touches or hard and rough. He would never forget the way his name fell from her lips in either a sigh or a scream.   
  
It wasn't how either of them thought their first time together would go..especially with that ache still in Ellie's chest, but later they would realize it was perfect in its own way, and they wouldn't change it for anything.   
  
Ellie finally drifted to sleep curled in his arms in the early hours of the morning. Nick stayed awake, just in case. 

* * *

  
  
  
A week had gone by, filled with visitors and anything Ellie might need. She stayed at his apartment and Nick had thoughts that maybe it should have been awkward or tense between them, but it wasn't. After being partners and friends for so long, they didn't need to talk as they came to an unspoken agreement. In front of people nothing had changed, but alone they were more, and in time it wouldn't be hidden.  
  
Nick knew he was calmer about the whole thing than everyone expected him to be. He had been quiet, supportive, almost submissive as he let Ellie take the lead in everything letting her do things and heal at her own pace. Anger was his go-to place when something happened, so he understood the barely noticeable surprised looks when he calmly supported her.  
  
He was bound to crack, especially when he had so much anger for Jake when he was alive despite never meeting him. He just never considered that the anger wouldn't be directed at Jake in some way.  
  
Abby had flown in as more moral support for Ellie, only she hadn't been very good at the support part. Instead, she questioned Ellie outright on how she could be so upset about the man who ruined their marriage and cheated. Ellie just let her go on, taking it all as Abby practically called her an idiot for caring about her ex-husband who in Abby's eyes, was forever on her list that was as close to a hate list as you could get when it came to Abby.   
  
Nick snapped.  
  
"Abby, either shut up and be supportive like you said you would be or get the hell out."   
  
Ellie had retreated to his room minutes ago, claiming to be tired.   
  
Abby stared at him with wide eyes. "Nick, you can't really think it's okay for her to be so upset about the guy who broke her heart into pieces!"   
  
He scoffed. "You don't get it Abby, you're only thinking about the surface."  
  
"Well then explain." She pursed her lips for a second, she didn't like being in the wrong and thought she was right like always, her eyes showing that confidence.   
  
"They were married, had been for years and were happy once upon a time. They were each other's best friend, were friends before they even started dating. Jake to her is more than just the guy who cheated. He's also her first real love, the guy she had once imagined spending the rest of her life with, the guy who for years was by her side for the good and the bad." He gave her a disappointed look. "And if I can understand all that even when I hated the guys guts for hurting the woman I love, why can't you?"   
  
Abby's eyes filled with tears, but Nick could tell from the stubborn look on her face that she still thought she was in the right.   
  
He shook his head with a sigh. "Just go Abby. You've done enough."  
  
When she finally left with a huff, Nick went into the bedroom where Ellie was curled in bed. He wasted no time in wrapping himself around her.   
  
"I heard what you said." She turned in his hold, smiling at him softly. "Thank you..for understanding, even when I didn't say it."  
  
"I know better than anyone that feelings aren't just black and white."   
  
"My feelings for you are pretty straight forward though." Ellie said. "And not just because of what you've done for me.."  
  
His lips lifted. "Yeah?"  
  
"Mmhmm."   
  
Ellie smiled widely as she kissed him, Nick knew then as she traced the word love on his skin that his heart was completely and utterly hers. 


End file.
